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Sunday, October 18, 2009

URBANSLANG.101

COURTESY FART>>

WHEN SOMEONE ACCIDENTALLY FARTS AND IS EMBARRASED, YOU SHOULD, IF YOU HAVE ONE READY, LET ONE FLY AS WELL. THIS IS A COURTESY FART.
THIS IS AN OPPORTUNE TIME FOR YOU TO RELEASE SINCE THEN THE TWO FART SMELLS WILL INTERFERE AND NO ONE WILL DISCOVER HOW UNBELIEVIBLY NASTY YOUR ASS IS.

“BORIS FARTED AS HE BENT OVER TO PICK UP HIS SHUTTLECOCK AT THE BADMINTON TOURNAMENT. SHUNG FE FELT SO BAD FOR HIM THAT HE OFFERED UP A COURTESY FART. UNFORTUNATELY SHUNG FE'S RICE AND EGGNOODLE FART COULD NOT COMPLETELY MASK THE LIVERWURST AND VODKA FART FROM BORIS, AND EVERYONE HAD TO LEAVE THE COURT FOR 15 MINUTES.”

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RESTLESS LIP SYNDROME>>

WHEN A PERSON KEEPS INTERRUPTING A CONVERSATION AND CAN'T KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT.

“CHRIS HAS TO COME MY HOUSE TO DRINK BECAUSE WHEN WE'RE AT HIS HOUSE, LINDAS RESTLESS LIP SYNDROME PREVENTS US FROM CARRYING ON A CONVERSATION.”

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MICROVISITS>>

THE REAL-WORLD EQUIVALENT OF MICROBLOGGING. STOPPING BY TO TALK TO SOMEONE FOR 140 SECONDS OR LESS.

"HAVE YOU TALKED TO MIKE LATELY?"

"JUST A COUPLE OF MICROVISITS LAST WEEK"

"I WAS ON MY WAY HOME YESTERDAY AND I STOPPED BY JEFF'S HOUSE FOR A MICROVISIT."

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CYBERCHONDRIAC>>

SOMEONE WHO SPENDS THEIR TIME SEARCHING MEDICAL WEBSITES FOR DISEASES THEY CONVINCE THEMSELVES THEY ACTUALLY HAVE

SIMILIAR TO A HYPERCHONDRIAC

'THEN I WENT ON THIS WEBSITE AND FOUND OUT THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE DIABETES AND CHRONIC FATIGUE!'
'DUDE...YOU'RE A CYBERCHONDRIAC' !


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UNDERBOOB>>

CLEAVAGE VISIBLE FROM THE PART OF THE SHIRT THAT COVERS THE BOTTOM OF THE FEMALE BREASTS

“IF THAT IS NOT A DELIBERATE UNDERBOOB, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.”

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