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Sunday, June 13, 2010

I COULD HAVE

I DO HATE WRITING ABOUT 'REGRETS',
BUT RIGHT NOW, MY HEAD'S FULL OF REGRETS.

I SHOULD HAVE NOT LET THAT HARSH THING HAPPEN TO ME.
I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO A BETTER INSTITUTION.
I SHOULD HAVE NOT JOINED IN THAT GROUP.
I SHOULD HAVE NOT RUN.
I SHOULD HAVE PURSUED MY COLLEGE EDUCATION.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN OBEDIENT CHILD.
I SHOULD HAVE NOT ENGAGED IN THIS COMMITMENT.
I SHOULD HAVE NOT LET LUST TOOK OVER.

I COULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER INDIVIDUAL.
BUT PAST ENCOUNTERS REALLY MADE ME THIS KIND.

I GOT A HANDFUL OF DREAMS.
FOR ME AND FOR MY LOVED ONES.
BUT WITH THE KIND OF PERSON THAT I AM,
THESE DREAMS ARE FAR BEYOND ATTAINABLE.

I CAN ONLY TELL THEM ABOUT MY DREAMS
SO THEY CAN APPRECIATE MY DESIRE TO MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER.
BUT I'M UNEQUIPPED TO REALIZE MY DREAMS.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE WHO NEVER FAILS TO THINK
HOW GOD WOULD WANT ME TO ACT GIVEN A CERTAIN SITUATION.
BUT LITERALLY THE PAST HAUNTS ME,

THE WORLD BLAMES ME, 
MY CONDITION STOPS ME;
THESE THINGS DISABLE ME TO DO GOOD.


I'VE LEARNED TO SEE LIFE IN GOD'S PERSPECTIVE.
BUT I'M ALWAYS HAVING A HARD TIME APPLYING THIS
BECAUSE POVERTY AND LUST FILL MY HEAD AND BLUR MY SIGHT.


I'M A FAILURE.
AND I'M SO SORRY FOR MY FAMILY THAT I'VE BEEN THIS KIND OF PERSON.

I AM A HEAVY BURDEN TO MYSELF.
I AM A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT TO MYSELF.
BECAUSE I KNOW MY CAPABILITIES, AND I EXPECTED THEM TO BE OF GREAT USE.
I KNOW I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING ABOUT MY LIFE,
TO ELEVATE IT AND GET MYSELF OUT OF THE RAT RACE,
BUT I'M JUST SO INCAPABLE.
I KNOW I COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.




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