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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

DECAYING CORPSE

AN UNPLEASANT BLOG TITLE.

BUT, IT BEST DESCRIBES SOMEONE WHO WALKS IN THE DARKNESS,
DESPITE HIM KNOWING THE WAY TO A GODLY, CLEAN LIVING.

YOU MAY BE KNOWLEDGEABLE, BUT IF YOU DON'T SEEK WISDOM, IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW GOD, AND IF YOU CONTINUE TO ACT AS A DAMNED SOUL, YOU ARE NOTHING.

I AM IRRESPONSIBLE AND LAZY.
I DON'T RESPECT THE TIME OF OTHERS.
I LET OTHER PEOPLE WASH MY CLOTHES, DO THE DISHES, CLEAN THE HOUSE.


I AM HOT-TEMPERED. I EASILY GET ANNOYED BY SMALL THINGS.
I CURSE AND SHOUT AT PEOPLE. I CURSE FRIENDS AND PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACT THE WAY I EXPECT AND WANT THEM TO DO, ANYONE WHO BLOCK MY WAY.
I AM IMPATIENT. IMPOLITE.
SLAM DOORS AND HIT THE TELEVISION AND THE PC.

I'M A COWARD.
I DON'T DEFEND MY OWN RIGHTS AND THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS,
DAHIL WALA AKONG MAIPAGMAMALAKI. WALA AKONG KARAPATAN.
KAHIT KAILAN.
MARAMI AKONG UTANG, LALO NA ANG "UTANG NA LOOB".
PUNYETA. I AM POOR AND MISERABLE.

I AM IMMORAL.

I'M NOT A GOOD SON, NOT A GOOD BROTHER,
AND NOT A GOOD MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.

I MAY APPEAR AS IF NOTHING WRITTEN HERE IS TRUE.
BUT I AM ABHORABLE.
I DESERVE HATRED.
I DESERVE TO BE MISERABLE; I DESERVE AGONY ALL MY LIFE.
I DESERVE DEATH.
YOU SEE, I AM SINFUL AND
I AM NOTHING.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE OF GREAT HELP TO OTHERS AND TO THE COMMUNITY,
BUT IT'S MY DESTINY TO FAIL. TO FUCK. TO FALL.

IT'S MORE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO WRITE ALL THESE.
BECAUSE THE COMPOSITION OF EACH WORD, 
BRINGS BACK EVERY INCH OF LONELINESS, SELF-PITY AND PAIN.
I DON'T NEED YOUR WORDS ON THESE.

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