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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

WEIRD SLEEP

WHEN I ARRIVED HOME AT 10AM, I THOUGHT OF GETTING BACK TO SLEEP.
AND I DID. MINUTES LATER WHEN I WAS IN DREAMLAND, I FELT SUDDENLY AWAKE.

I JUST FELT IT. MY BODY, MY  LIMBS NEVER MOVED THE WAY THEY SHOULD, 
LIKE I FROZE. I WAS CONSCIOUS BUT I COULDN'T MOVE MY BODY.
IT'S AS IF I WAS SUDDENLY PARALYZED.

I STARTED EXPERIENCING THIS WEIRD THING SINCE 2004. 
SINCE THEN, I BATTLE WITH IT ONCE IN A WHILE.
I AM SOMEHOW USED TO IT, BUT EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS, I GET A BIT SCARED.
WHY? BECAUSE MY LIFE MIGHT JUST END THEN AND THERE.

AND IT FEELS AS IF I'M HELPLESS, ALL I COULD DO IS SCREAM!
BUT MY SCREAM ISN'T AUDIBLE ENOUGH THAT IT WOULD JUST COME OUT AS A "MOAN". A MOAN THAT'S HARDLY AUDIBLE, AND I WILL JUST MOAN LOUDER SO SOMEONE CAN COME WAKE ME UP.
BUT THEN, I WOULD FEEL AS IF SOME NERVES IN MY NECK ARE GONNA BREAK IF I'M GONNA FORCE MY MOANING ALOUD.
WHEN IT HAPPENS, SOMETIMES I WOULD FEEL SOMEONE WAS COMING. THERE WERE TIMES I WOULD HEAR FOOTSTEPS LIKE SOMEONE'S RUNNING TO ME, BUT THEN THERE WAS ACTUALLY NO ONE . 
SOMETIMES, THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS WAS SO SLOW, THAT I WOULD JUST GET MAD. WORST THING WAS, IT SEEMED LIKE SOMEONE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME MURMURING WORDS I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND, AND I WOULD JUST FEEL SO ANGRY.

THERE WERE TIMES I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET SOME RESCUE.
MAYBE I WAS ABLE TO MAKE THEM HEAR MY CLAMOR FOR HELP.
AND THEN THERE WERE UNFORTUNATE TIMES. I WOULD JUST STOP MOANING AND WOULD WAIT FOR WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT. THE TIME WAS LIKE SO SLOW, THAT I WOULD UNEXPECTEDLY JUST GET BACK TO SLEEP.
THAT'S SO WEIRD.
SLEEP PARALYSIS.
 










Get to Know Sleep Paralysis More 
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1740

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