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Sunday, April 25, 2010

SACRIFICE

THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT BELIEVES IN THE SAYING "LOVE IS SACRIFICE".
IT SEEMS TO TAKE OVER ME FOR YEARS.

I KEEP DREAMING FOR MYSELF. JUST FOR MYSELF.
BECAUSE I NEED TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR THE WORSE.
AND "WORSE" JUST SEEMS TO BE THE MAIN PROBLEM. MAYBE MORE OF A LIFESTYLE.
AND THAT NEGATIVITY BROUGHT A SENSE OF ENDURANCE AND ACCEPTANCE.

I NEED TO DEAL WITH WHAT EVER COMES.
AND I'M SO WEAK.
SO WEAK TO TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES WITH CONTINUITY BECAUSE REALITY STOPS ME.

MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES AND HUGE SINS.
FROM WHITE LIES TO UNFORGIVABLE AND CONVICTING ERRORS.
I'M DOOMED. I, MYSELF, AM DOOMED. SHOULD JUST BE ME.

YOU CAME. YOU'RE LIKE A DROP OF WATER IN A DESERT. SO ESSENTIAL.
YET YOU CAN'T QUENCH MY THIRST BECAUSE I STAYED IN THIS ARID SPOT FOR YEARS.
YOU CAME. YOU'RE LIKE A DEW ON A LEAF ON AUTUMN. SO REAL.
YET YOU CAN'T BRING BACK THE LIFE OF A FALLEN LEAF.

I APPRECIATE YOUR PRESENCE.
AND THE WAY YOU CARE.
I ADMIRE YOU FOR LISTENING, FOR YOUR STRENGTH AND FOR UNDERSTANDING.
YOUR SACRIFICE WILL FOREVER CAUSE SMILES ON MY LONELY HOURS.

AND ME,
MY SACRIFICE WILL TORTURE ME AS LONG AS I LIVE.
MY SACRIFICE WILL KILL ME, AND WILL HURT YOU. MY GREAT APOLOGY.
MY SACRIFICE IS FOOLISHNESS (I KNOW) TO LET THIS PASS.
BUT I CHOSE TO BE A FOOL BECAUSE I AM A FOOL. AND I'M WEAK.
MY SACRIFICE IS SUICIDE.

I WANT YOU TO LIVE.

♫"...because I'm lost... Because I change the world... Because it's my destiny... Because I can't change..."♪

 

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

NOT A THREAT

NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU THINK YOUR EXISTING SITUATION IS,
YOU MAY COME TO A POINT WHEN YOU BEGIN TO THINK SOMETHING'S LACKING.

YET, YOU REALIZE IT WAS THE SAME OLD QUESTION YOU IGNORED
BECAUSE YOU WERE FOCUSED THEN.

AND NOW THAT THERE'S THIS THING WHICH YOU THINK CAN MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER,
AND WHICH YOU THINK YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE WHENEVER YOU WANNA GRAB IT,
YOU BECOME SLIGHTLY UNFOCUSED.

YET YOU REALIZE IT WAS THE SAME OLD THREAT YOU ONCE SAID YOU CAN EASILY IGNORE
BECAUSE YOU WERE TRYING TO PROVE SOMETHING.

AND PROVING ISN'T A ONE TIME THING.
FOR YOU, PROVING IS A LIFETIME.

AND YOU CONSTANTLY PUT IN MIND THAT PROVING,
EVEN THOUGH IT'S TIRING AT TIMES,
EVEN THOUGH IT'S AGAINST SOMEBODY ELSE'S  VALUES,
WHEN IT'S DONE OUT OF AFFECTION,
CAN KEEP YOU FOCUSED.


Sunday, April 04, 2010

RED BRAIN

HAVE JUST A FEW THINGS IN MY SKULL.
OF COURSE, THERE'S THIS FLAT BRAIN,
AND BLOOD AND... I CANT THINK OF OTHERS IN THERE.

THAT BRAIN HAS LOTS OF THINGS GOING THROUGH IN IT.
SEVERAL THOUGHTS WHICH OFTEN LEAD TO SILENCE.
DISTRACTION AND HOT TEMPER ;)

I GUESS IM ONE PERSON WHO CAN JUST TAKE IN ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME.
SO WHEN MY BRAIN'S PREOCCUPIED WITH SO MUCH THOUGHTS
(ADD THE TRASHES I ACQUIRE FROM SCAVENGERS I ENCOUNTER ALMOST DAILY)
I GET TOTALLY SLOW AND SENSITIVE TO NOISE.

WHICH IS WHY I HATE HEARING WORSE THINGS FROM PEOPLE
(THE "GOOD" OBSERVERS AND "GREAT" DISCUSSERS
THAT WHEN THEY START TO TALK, YOU'LL JUST HEAR NEGATIVE THINGS)
WHOOH! ANNOYING.