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Sunday, October 23, 2011

I LOST TRACK OF MY RELIGION

I CANT REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES
I HAD GIVEN UP SO FAR IN MY LIFE.
WHY? COZ I DONT COUNT THE TIMES I WAS DEFEATED.
COZ THE FIRST TIME I DIED, I KNEW THEN
THAT IM BOUND TO EXPERIENCE FAILURE ONCE IN A WHILE.

I FEEL SO DOWN TODAY.
THAT I WASACTUALLY  CONSIDERING THAT EASY SOLUTION
FOR ANOTHER TORTURING PERIOD.

IM DYING... AGAIN.

MY BELIEFS (WHICH SOME ARE REFLECTED IN SEVERAL BLOGS I DID)
ARE JUST IDEAL, AND I ADMIT I HAVENT APPLIED ALL OF THEM
IN MY DAY TO DAY STRUGGLES;
WHEN I WRITE ABOUT SOME OF MY BELIEFS,
I, AS A BLOGGER, ASSESS MYSELF FIRST,
CHECKIN MYSELF OUT IF I HAVE VIOLATED ANYONE OF THOSE,
AND I CAN SAY, I AM GUILTY OF STEPPIN OVER MY OWN BELIEFS,
MOST OF THEM ACTUALLY.

IT IS IN WRITING THAT I ACCIDENTALLY FIGURE OUT
THE MISTAKES I WAS ABLE TO COMMIT IN THE PAST,
AND THE NORMS I TEND TO TURN MY BACK FROM;
 THE MORE I BLOG, THE MORE MISTAKES I DISCOVER,
AND THE THINGS I ENGAGE IN BECOME LESS AND LESS JUSTIFIED.

I AM VERY EAGER TO DISCOVER TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE,
AND HOW, BY LEARNING THEM, I CAN MAKE MYSELF BETTER
AS AN INTERACTING INDIVIDUAL.

I MAY SEEM TO JUDGE PEOPLE BUT I SEE TO IT
THAT I HAVE JUDGED MYSELF ON THAT MATTER LONG AGO;
I HAVE FAILED SO MANY TIMES, AND OTHERS MAY SEE MY DEEDS
TO BE HARMLESS, BUT MOST OF YOU WOULD AGREE
THAT THERE'S NO ONE WHO CAN JUDGE OURSELVES BEST BUT OURSELVES.

I HAVE TOTALLY LOST TRACK OF MY OWN RELIGION.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

26th BIRTHDAY AT SUBIC #TOINK

I'LL BE TWENTY SIX YEARS OLD IN A LITTLE WHILE.
OLDER, FATTER, AND REALLY WORSE.


BUT I AINT CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS;
I'LL BE FACING THE MORNING ALONE
(MMM, BUT IM NOT ALLOWING LONELINESS TO PRESENT ITSELF AS A GATECRASHER) AKO PA ;)


IM HERE AT SUBIC FOR A CONFERENCE OF LCEs.
I WAS SENT BY THE BOSS AS HER REPRESENTATIVE,
BIRTHDAY TREAT NA RIN DAW NYA SAKEN;
AYOS LANG, AT LEAST I CAN TELL MYSELF I GOT NO ONE ON MY BIRTHDAY
COZ IM EXILED ;) AT LEAST I REALLY GOT TO CELEBRATE MY OWN BIRTHDAY WITH JUST ME AND NO ONE ELSE AND I JUST NEEDED THIS AGAIN.


DAY1 OF THE CONFERENCE ENDED AT 7PM,
HAD A SOLVED NA SOLVED NA HAPUNAN
AND WATCHED "THE BOUNTY HUNTER",
THE MOVIE JUST MADE ME LAUGH
 (OO, MAG-ISA 'KONG TUMAWA NANG TUMAWA KANINA)


I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE NOW, THOUGH I MISS MY COUCH SO MUCH;
A PART OF ME EAGERLY WAITS FOR THIS DAY,
THAT I WILL REACH THE AGE OF 26.
COZ MY FATHER DIED WHEN HE WAS TWENTY SIX;?
I DONT KNOW, I JUST FELT WEAKER AND weaker AS MONTHS PASS BY ;)


I CANT AFFORD TO SUFFER FROM SLEEP PARALYSIS WHILE IM HERE,
COZ NO ONE WILL HEAR ME ;) #TOINK
MAYAP A KEBAITAN!


NAKAW SA GOOGLE #TOINK