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Monday, January 13, 2014

BROKEN

I AM BROKE.
IT JUST FELL ON ME THAT IN TWO YEARS TIME I'LL BE THREE DECADES OLD. THAT I DONT HAVE ANY SAVINGS, BUT CRAP. I AM NOT GROWING UP. I AM ACADEMICALLY BROKE. I AM FINANCIALLY ILLITERATE, THAT I CAN HARDLY FEED MYSELF. AND EARN FOR MY FAMILY.
I EVEN GOT MYSELF A NASTY HABIT WHICH WORSENED, GIVING ME NO PEACE OF MIND, AND IT'S DESTRUCTIVE.

I AM BROKEN. 
THAT MY DREAMS ARE DISTANT. 
AND IM STUCK HERE INCAPABLE OF STEPPIN TOWRDS THEM. 
I AM FAR BEHIND SOME OF MY SUCCESSFUL BATCHMATES, AND ALL I CAN DO IS DAY DREAM THAT IN AN INSTANT, MY LIFE WILL BE BETTER. 

I NEED A BREAK. 
BUT WHENEVER I DESIRE TO PONDER ON THE THINGS I NEED TO DO IN LIFE, MY MIND GETS FILLED WITH OTHER THINGS THAT NEEDED TO GET DONE. 
I AM A LABORER. I AM A SUBORDINATE. I FOLLOW ALMOST EVERYONE'S COMMAND (WELL, SOMETIMES I GET TO CHOOSE WHOM TO FOLLOW LAST). 

BUT I CAN'T BREAKAWAY. 
I AM NOT JUST HOURS BEHIND. 
I AM LEFT BEHIND. 
WITH THE LIABILITIES PILING UP, I CANT MANAGE TO MOVE ON. 
I AM A MESS. 
I AM NOT EXEMPLAR. 
I AM STUCK. 
I AM WAY TOO LOW. 
I AM ERRONEOUS. 
I AM RUBBISH. 

MY FAITH IS PRESENT,
BUT MY PSYCHE DOES SO MANY THINGS AGAINST IT. 


3 comments:

jonathan said...

In a way this is well written but it brings a very negative mood. I hope that everything, well upon writing them here, will be better. I am just a mere acquaintance, blogwise, but I am rooting for your positive changes. We all experience these.

DEMIGOD WINZTON said...

THANKS, JONATHAN :)

genesis saavedra said...

👍👍👍👍👍👍